Paint With Words

Since I couldnt’ be around much for Christmas, I just wanted to pop in and say hi and wish you all a Happy New Year’s. You know the drill: have fun, be safe, don’t drink too much, and laissez les bons temps rouler!

<3

First off I wanted to apologize for not being around lately. We’ve had really bad storms in the Midwest, and lots of power outages (at one point 70,000 people in my hometown had no power. The city population is roughly 250-260,000 people). Our power is FINALLY on for good I hope, so I hope that means more updating between now and when school starts.

Anyway, onto the important stuff.

Yes, I have fallen victim to the Twilight craze. I saw the movie the night it opened, have read the series, own a Twilight t-shirt, and my name tag at work has a Twilight giftcard and a “Team Edward” pin affixed to it (I work at Hot Topic and as far as I know that’s just about the only place to buy any Twilight paraphenalia). So naturally, I get a lot of flack at work about it. I don’t mind; I just laugh with them and pick on myself for being a 23-year-old fangirl.

Now, granted I intended this blog to be more about writing tips and advice, rather than opinions and reviews. But,with all the criticism of Edward Cullen for being creepy/stalker/borderline abusive, and Bella Swan for being “Mary Sue”, I’ve gotten to thinking about it and compared the book a lot to my life. I figured this would be the best place to talk about it.

 Yes, Bella does kind of read as a Mary Sue typed character. Especially in Breaking Dawn (but I have heardsome good explanations to how she turned out too that I never thought of while reading the books). At the same time though, it’s not bad Mary Sue fanfiction writing. It actually makes the plot work in this case. To me anyway. But, that’s not really my point. My point is Bella reminds me a lot of myself, with how boys react to her, and being kind of socially awkward. She sounds a lot like I was in high school, and even my first year or 2 of college. Guys noticed, and I never paid attention. That or I was like, “hahahaha yeah, riiiiiight, like I haven’t heard that one before, just to get cracked on for it later.” Yes, that happened to me a LOT in middle school especially, so I tended not to notice if gusy actually did pay attention to me. It got bad enough that if they did notice I was pretty sure they were making fun of me.

So when Edward noticed Bella, and fell for her immediately, I could really identify with that. It reminded me a lot of my fiance and me. And of course, once I found him and got all googly eyed for him, all the other gusy start noticing and I’m completely oblivious. Go figure, right? hahahaha!

And Edward being the creepy stalker. He is…I won’t say he’s not. But, well to be honest when you have the kind of dad I’ve had, Edward Cullen doesn’t seem so bad. No, no, I’m not painting my dad to be an awful, abusive father. Not at all. In fact, I’m trying to say this in a good way.

Everything Edward does, he does because he loves Bella, tha and/or she’s in a REALLY bad situation. I believe in Eclipse, he goes as far as taking the spark plugs out of Bella’s car to keep her from leaving. Yes, that’s CRAZY. That’s controlling. But, Bella has a vampire coven trying to trace her scent…no wonder he doesn’t want her to leave. Or, if she does, he has to know whom she is with, and for how long.

Sounds JUST like my father. He can be controlling, and severe. Never abusive, and yes there are times where I’ve been ranting about living with Hitler, but I do know in the end that he loves me, just as Edward loves Bella.

Like I said, I don’t always like it. In fact I was crying about it last night; feeling trapped, and feeling like I can’t do anything, can’t be anything, because Dad has to have his way or else. My dad is a very “my way or the high way” typed person. Granted it’s not always bad, but sometimes–ok A LOT of the time–it aggravates me. Just like Bella, I’m extremely independent, and just like Edward, my dad is just as independent. It causes a lot of problems, but just like Edward, my dad is only out to protect me, and just like Bella, I love him in the end for it. It’s definitely better than someone being controlling just to be a jerk.

It’s not really that I don’t agree with the popular (negative) opinions about Bella and Edward. But, because of my life, I guess maybe it doesn’t bother me so much. I’ve lived in a severe situation all my life, but I also know it’s because I’m loved. And, I also think somewhere deep down women want to be possessed like that. It’s not some weird, kinky submissive/domination thing. It’s just, well, women like knowing they’re important to someone…especially when they adore that someone. When a man is that possesive and protective of a woman, sometimes it’s comforting because we know that we’re cared about that stongly. And Edward does care about Bella completely. Everything he does is for her, and every risk he takes is to protect her. Everything in his life is about her, and I think that’s what everyone woman wants.

I’ve been doing some things lately I never do on stories. That, or they’re just out right new experiences.

First being the website I tried putting my story on. I’m really considering deleting my account. Not to say the site isn’t legit, but, well, let’s face it: if I’m gonna hang my butt out there like that, I may as well do it for a publishing company and not an internet site. No offense to indie musicians, but well, the indie thing works WAY better for music than it does books. Maybe books will catch up one day, but that day isn’t here yet and I’m not about to sit around and wait on it.

Secondly, interviewing Maesta Helene Bouchez. Talk about an honor/learning experience. I learned so much about how to conduct myself, what to look for, and how to pick it apart in that kind of setting. I’m glad I got to do it, at least for my own sake.

Lastly, I’ve recently started planning a story that was inspired by one of my fanfics. Now, give me a sec to explain. The original fanfic I wrote will be redone as a ‘normal’ story. The story itself is viable itself, even if just names are changed. That’s the main reason I’m going to do this. So he family has a history from the Mayflower up until Post-Berlin Wall Germany. I won’t go into details of the story, but what makes this so different for me is I never write out my plans for my stories. However, this one I’ve got to. At least a little. There’s so much historical stuff I need to read into at least some that I can’t just wing the plot. Even the story I have finished, I have some things to still work on, look up, and refine (the finished one is the post Berlin Wall one). So I’m really bending and challenging myself.

 So I hope that now that I’m on break from school, I can try to really get some work done and see what I can develop into.

I said that to a friend once in high school. Everything in life truly is a story, no matter how small. A leaf blowing in the wind, an ant crawling on the cement, a building crumbling to the ground, a girl crying in the corner; it’s all a story.

What interests me is everything that lead to that simple (or complex) event; making up a story in the back of my mind about it. No, it’s not being judgemental of anyone or anything, but making myself think about a possible idea. Why is that girl crying? Maybe she’s a selfish brat, crying over something trivial. Or maybe it’s as severe as finding out someone she loved dearly has died, or is fighting for their life. maybe it’s a heartbreak.

And what about the leaf? Sure, blowing in the wind is simple enough, but what if it’s from a hundred-plus-year-old Sequoia that predates even American settlers? Imagine the things the tree was standing through. No, trees can’t talk, but the mere thoughts themselves can be daunting: the Indian raids, the natural disaters, the explorers, the immigrants, and so much more!

My goal is simply to write those ideas–those histories–down and portray a possible story about something. What could’ve been. A series I’m planning spans a family history all the way from the Mayflower up until post-Berlin Wall Berlin. And predating the Mayflower, they lived in English nobility. It gets more complex than that, but as I said, anything–and EVERYTHING–can be a story.